How hard is it to understand that mental health problems don’t present in isolated events? That they bleed into each other and require recovery? That expecting me to do the tasks I normally fulfil is like asking someone who’s broken their leg to walk a marathon and god forbid they wear a cast.
It’s not that I don’t try, oh don’t I try, but willpower only gets you so far when you already have to drain it to not curl up in a ball and cry or hurt someone. Even verbalising my intent remains difficult because my brain is basically installing windows updates, but still, it gets some stuff done.
Focusing, even on stuff I enjoy, becomes exhausting. I’m in the permanent dilemma between ‘I’m too nauseous to eat’ and ‘I’m so hungry/Want food things’ and ‘No way I’m moving my ass from where I am right now’.