She didn’t understand the question, nor what she didn’t get. Crying in a math class is the lowest you can get. I asked her if she was okay, she said she had a bad day and it had nothing to do with math. These phrases, these actions all too familiar. I was afraid to confront her in class for seeming intrusive but I kept an eye on her for the remainder of the day. At least she has friends around her… but so did I, or at least I thought.
This struck me hard, I didn’t want anyone to experience the horror of dropping out trough mental pressure. When I came home I was hesitant to message her, though I had her number. I ended up eating first but after that the idea had seemingly wedged itself between my thoughts. I messaged her, telling bluntly I was concerned and that I wanted to help. She once again claimed being fine but after a fun little conversation she ended on saying she appreciated my concern. It really was like talking to a younger me and it was amazing and terrifying at the same time. Still that was the start of a building friendship and I don’t regret “saving” her.
She’s not the first case of my overactive concern for others, but certainly one of the more successful “rescues”. I often sit at the same spot in school during lunch and free periods and every now and then there would be another girl there. She’s most likely one grade below me and I noticed cuts on her wrist and not just a few. My best friend and I made it our task to watch out for her and try to get her help, though we both know it’s a very delicate subject. So far my friend has managed to start helping her out with homework and I sometimes sit next to her when we have shared free periods.
I know we can’t save everyone here and that’s not my plan but if we can prevent a few people from ending up fighting such a disorder I’ll be happy. School does nothing for people like us and so we have to take that role and it’s much more rewarding seeing someone appreciate even your presence than getting a good grade.
ARC, act of random kindness, that’s what we do. I’ve started doing more of them even if they seem trivial at times the effects are so positive. I’m really starting to feel like I’m bringing about change to this school or at least it’s community. Teachers know and acknowledge me, my creative and often unusual ideas are like war tales told to new classes. Seems just being me isn’t so bad a thing after all 🙂