It’s never their fault

Reports, something I never look forward to. They’re another punch in the face after you’ve already surrendered. Unbalanced grades paint a skewed image and mixed effort comments blame me for not being an emotionless robot. When I read it and tears rolled down my cheeks I couldn’t help but want to shout back at these accusations hidden behind mandatory text.

I’m sorry for having things going on in my life outside the weekly 40-hour torture you put me through.
I’m sorry for being a teenager with hormones who will inevitably make many mistakes.
I’m sorry that I don’t spend every minute of the meagre 4 hours I have left of any weekday doing home works, assignments and essays.
I’m sorry for trying to comply with the extra-curricular demands you’ve put on me.
I’m sorry for having a job to save money for my future, the very future you keep going on about me ruining.
I’m sorry I show up to class tired from all the migraines, panic attacks, and nightmares from the stress you’ve put on me.
I’m sorry for not giving a shit about your irrelevant homework because a major deadline demands my full attention.
I’m sorry I spend your classes doing assignments or trying to deal with my ever growing mental health issues while you go on not teaching me a damn thing.
I’m sorry for showing up against my better judgement because if my attendance is too low I’ll fail.
I’m sorry for pretending I’m fine since you don’t seem to care either way.
I’m sorry for not trying my best on things I’m normally good at because all my efforts have gone into trying to meet the standards elsewhere.
I’m sorry my assignment is overdue because I almost killed myself the other night, but unfortunately kept on fighting.
I’m sorry I go to 1 out of every 5 parties I’m invited to because I need something to get my mind off of things.
I’m sorry I didn’t do anything over the holidays, those things were totally not invented to take a break from all the work I’m expected to deliver.
I’m sorry what I wrote is sassy as fuck and salty as hell on a topic you have never heard of just so I could actually hand something in.

You know what, I’m not sorry at all. I’m trying my fucking best to survive this hellish education and come out looking good to future employment you’ve taught me nothing on. I don’t need your pity, your bitching or your help. I need you to understand and see that maybe, had you been better at your job, I wouldn’t have been so obviously HUMAN.


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