Staring outside

3 years

Long hair, dead eyes and a gaze locked on the ground
Lost in her own world with no one around
Silent and frail, Invisible to the crowds
No one sees her screaming out
Someone save me, I’m falling apart
Her pleading remains unheard
She crumbles as time flows past
How much longer will she last

Even I didn’t see her and she did not recognise me
How huge the difference 3 years make can be
I’d like to tell her tales of what’s to come
How much she had in her all along
Even my success has had its price
Still happiness is on the rise
Finally escaping the world of shadows
Climbing out of the ravine so low

Younger me don’t fear
Times of adventure are here
Boredom ends and life begins
In the end perseverance wins
Much will be unknown to you
But you’ll know what to do
Prepare for change, prepare for difficulty
Survive and you’ll be strong like me

Beware of darkness it still lurks
Treasure individuality and your quirks
For friends will come to  find you
They will understand you’re true
Supporting you along the way
Life takes people to play

This rollercoaster keeps on goin’
Even for me it’s unknown
Where it will take us
But you should know this
Your future lies ahead
Now get off of your bed
Change takes effort and dedication
Don’t give up or lose your patience

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Lame poem

I was at a loss
for a cause
found my path
now i laugh

still standing
hard landing
moving on
where i belong

a shadow remains
but taunts and feints
are all it can muster
he’s weak, busted

this poem is lame
so is my name
the end in sight
middle of the night

Yeah… not my greatest work but it came up after watching some episodes with killer bee (naruto) in it. His rap isn’t exactly great either xD

Random latenight thoughts

Time is just an illusion, a rule made by humans, mortals, designed to keep order. Time is not price, nature doesnt follow time, nhor does what lies beyond. I find myself being complety calm up into core during enlightend moments like this, body doesnt matter, doesnt feel, language is just a barier to be breached by feelings. I have a destiny, even though unfound it lies ahead, my life has been decided, I am merley here to follow the play, the rules. Every life has a purpose and all has been planned, not by a limited power like a god or a spirit, destiny is a natural cause. The big bang happend for a reason, life happend for a reason. I feel I am losing the feeling, doubt, stress tiredness is what I’m left with and the latest of thoughts. Poethic and pholosphical this might seem, but I am not an average havebeen drepressed girl. But the permission to spread the story behind it is not mine to give.

Breathing in, breathing out, every breath could be my last. Wouldn’t it be terrible dying after graduating, having gone to school dor years to die without living?!

My mind is greater then many can imagine, sealed behind tragedys caused by fate, I have learned to live with it. In speaking, writing and drawing my story is hidden, I am waiting for the one that finds it, the other destined one. I have a reason I don’t want to be polpular, a reason I don’t want just a girl/boyfriend. They can’t know me unless they are doomed as well. Caught in societys web with only one way out: working until the spider comes to eat you.
Humans havent been truly free for ages, trapping themselfs and other creatures in their “great” world. Ha, a project doomes to fail from the start, a test project, a first try, killing themselfs.

Grades don’t say anything about intelegence it tells you about memorizing and studying skills. I am not an A* student, I am happy with a C but I am the one that uses the knowledge in life, I am the one rhat uses the difficult words. School doesn’t focus on intellegent students, it focusus on studyers, nerds. If only there was someone out there capeable of understanding me. I have thoughts, problems, feelings that can’t be described in words in any langauge.

Many will not have understuud this post, this outburst of philosphy and enlightment, don’t worry, I won’t either tommorrow morning, I’m a nightperson, this is my time…

X Anouk