Unspoken words

I’ve been keeping something secret from you, actually a lot of things. Were it crippling anxiety, fear of rejection or something of which I’m still unaware? Now I’ll tell you everything I never said.

Any food you make is delicious even when it isn’t
I always hate leaving you even if we’ll see each other tomorrow
I can’t count how often I’ve thought of waking up to your lovely sleepy face
I can’t seem to stop thinking about you I do it all the time
I can’t sleep without missing the feeling of your arms around me
I cling to the sweet things you told me when I’m feeling down
I feel sad when I can’t see your smile
I get jealous when I hear others talk about you
I may or may not have stared at you… a lot
I miss the taste of your lips I bet you don’t
I never seem to find the courage to make a move towards you
I often beat myself up over things I should have and things I shouldn’t have done around you
I remember every word you said, every move you made
I want to hold your hand just a little longer and never let go
I want to ruffle your hair and you mine
I want to steal one of your sweaters just to take a little bit of you wherever I go
I’ll have to leave you someday and I hope it never comes
I’ll lie, get in trouble or miss out on something important to me just to be there for you
I’m always looking forward to the next time I see you
I’m glad that I met you
I’ve dropped so many hints and still you seem oblivious
I’ve thought of so many what ifs
I’ve wanted you to caress my cheek for the longest time
I’ve wanted you to hold me tighter
If the whole world wanted me to be theirs I’d still be chasing you
It hurts that you’re always just out of reach
My “jokes” about us being together really hurt
Oh your smile makes me melt
You can call me with a problem and I’ll drop everything I was doing
You can change my mood in a split second
You make me burn up in the cold of winter and freeze in the hot of summer
You’ve changed me in ways I could never imagine
You’re the only one I ever tell how I really feel well not about you
Your messages bring more joy than any other’s

I know you’re broken and imperfect but that doesn’t stop me from… loving you

I love you

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Questions

I am bothered with so many. Others, mine and questions of which the answers are already known. Questions cause stress and need answering but what if there is no answer? What if you are the only one who can find out the answer. Sometimes answering one gives you three more. You shouldn’t deal with all of them alone yet you shouldnt share them all.
A question can have many answers which can depend on the person asking and answering.
Some are not meant to be answered and some you dont want to know the answer to. Why do they make out lives so difficult? Why bother thinking of them? Questions about questions…
A question who’s answer keeps changing is: Who am I? Because people change. You have to keep finding yourself and stay true to that
You shouldn’t worry about questions that don’t concern you and not be afraid to not know the answer. Questions are meant to be asked because we want to know.
The question which is bothering me at the moment has to do with secrets (see my post) the should I tell question. You need to know the outcome to know wheter you want to know, just like with grades: you want to know wheter its a good grade to know if you want to hear it.
Its a dilemma and you’ll have to choose. Some people are better at dealing with them than others. Theres a dillema about wheter you should choose quickly or take time when a dillema occurs. Lot of inception in this post xD.
There is no such thing a choosing wrong, you just choose something that had other disadvantages and advantages after rain comes sun and the other wat arround

Okay I’ve been rambling for long enough, time to end with a question: what came first, the chicken or the egg? X Anouk

Secrets

There are many kinds; innocent, one you have for your parents, ones you have for everyone, dangerous ones, friends secrets and life changers.
I have encountered them all sadly… I’m not here to share them since they are secret for a reason but merely to talk about the topic.

Is keeping secrets a good thing to do or is it just hiding the problem? Does keeping friends secrets strenghten your bond or weaken it? Should you tell anyone anything?
Many question on which opinions differ. I’m good at keeping secrets and that’s why I might hold to many and some are hiding the problem, but some things are not meant to be told... Friends have told me their secrets and sometimes it brought us closer and sometimes further appart since aecrets can be used against you. I would certainly not tell anyone anything, since some things nobody wants to know.

Do you think secrets are good or bad? X Anouk