Don’t you just love when on paper you seem to be doing great, but in reality you want to scream and cry and rage?
And you end up guilt tripping yourself to shut up and stop complaining because as the therapist of the group you know what everyone is going through and they’ve got it worse?
And even though you’re trying to get help your current mental health professional just doesn’t click?
And you try your very best to not give in to your unhealthy coping mechanisms but it’s so tempting because at least then you’d cope, kinda?
And you start wondering if you can actually take care of yourself or you’re just slowly drowning in your independence?
And whether you actually recovered from anything you’ve been suffering from or it just didn’t impact you as much because things were going well?
And if anyone ever saw what you do when you’re alone trying to contain all these feelings you’d be shipped of to the psych ward?
But at least if you sum up those few facts that shine through on paper and at family gatherings you can feel some sense of accomplishment, right?
There's order in my chaos 