Self-harmless

don’t reach for the bottle
don’t reach for the knife
don’t cut off your hair
don’t go pick a fight

don’t run to a stranger
don’t bother your friends
don’t count on your family
don’t trust yourself

don’t empty your savings
don’t go out at night
don’t visit the train tracks
don’t think of the heights

Depth

I’m deep underwater looking up at the world

unsure if I’m drowning or breathing just fine

everything seems so close yet so far

muffled, numbed, paralyzed, floating

weightless, shapeless, absent, heavy

should I be trying to escape?

should I just stay here?

Lost at home

I’m not real

At least that’s what it feels like

I can touch this world, smell it, hear it, taste it, see it

But I’m not here

–

I’m in my head

In my fantasies

In my stories

In my memories

–

I’m afraid any day soon

I’ll walk into these realities and swap places

With the poor placeholder I put through a million variations

Forever stuck suffering my own whims

–

_{How do I} find my way ^{back to myself}

You’re so sweet

I wish I could say you had me at hello
Instead we hated each other at the get-go
I wish I could say I never hurt you
And I’m sorry for what I put you through
I wish I could make up for lost time
But I’ll happily settle for you being mine
It was you every time, marshmallow
Like a destiny trying to come true
Can’t exactly say that I mind

Burning water

A broken heart beats out of my chest
Painful tears and painful laughs
Contradictorily manic and depressed
Exploring previously forbidden paths
Torn apart in unfamiliar Duality
Logic and emotion at odds
On the journey to individuality
One misstep and all progress lost